An odd week

CC Kodoma 2004

So, I stopped at a green light just the other day. I had been working on a project involving soldering and LED's and was intrigued by the LED traffic lights in use in my city. I slowed down to admire the complexity of the LED. Suddenly, I realized that I had come to a complete stop and was staring up at the light like a jackass. Luckily it was 2:30 AM and there wasn't any traffic.

The event really made me realize that I wasn't looking at the light in the way that other people would have. I didn't see it as a signal to go, I saw it as a bunch of green LED's. It would be damn near impossible to function in present-day society without a set of conventions that allow us to all think alike. Non-conforming behavior is shunned/illegal. It was very interesting.

My ex-girlfriend isn't putting out as much as she should. I assumed that we were friends with benefits, but either that's not true and we're just boyfriend/girlfriend withOUT benefits or there aren't as many benefits as I thought there were. I understand that things can't be exactly the same, that's why I don't hit her as often. Physical abuse is reserved for the girlfriend, not my lover. Lovers get mouthbabies, girlfriends get abortions. :) It MIGHT be possible that I don't have an appropriate view on things, but I'd rather just think that Amy needs more cock in her life...and that cock should be mine. Another option is to find some other girl with no self-esteem to put my penis into. I'm not opposed to lying to some girl and telling her that I love her in order to get some action, but I'd like to know if I need to start shopping elsewhere for boob action or is Amy going to start lowering her standards? It's tough work being a slimebag.

Turkey Day was good. I ate some good food and heard my whole family bitch about how they don't want to spend money for X-Mas. Cry me a fucking river. They had a lot of lead time for Christmas. It happens every year, on the same day, and it's been happening for a very long time. Ok, so finances are getting low. I understand. I asked them to limit their spending to $200 per person per gift max. 5 gifts for me. I mean, honestly, I don't want them to spend over $1000 on me. That would be ridiculous. Oh, and the minimum amount is $50. I don't want some crappy CD for x-mas...I want the good stuff. Jesus died so that I could get a bunch of crap wrapped in paper under a dead tree. Am I right?! No? I'm actually wrong? 100% wrong? Oh well, I still want my stuff. :)

Turkey Day

Well, it's Thanksgiving week. I'm anticipating lots of food and lots of relatives. I hope that there are enough left overs to feed me until Christmas. :) I'm such a soccer mom, i've already started buying x-mas gifts and wrapping paper. Maybe i can have all of my shopping done before the week of Christmas? That would be an achievement.

Thanksgiving is such a fun holiday. I go home, eat lots, sleep, eat more, talk with my family, the eat some more. No gifts, costumes, candy, "love", or leprechauns! It's the best holiday ever!

Another chance

Well, after too many years to count, i severed all bf/gf ties with Amy. I think that it's the best idea we've ever acted upon. For the entire duration of our relationship we've patched the rips, tears, tears, and holes between us. Just as the highway is constantly patched, it was never made whole through patching of patched patches. This is why highways are repaved. The old is stripped away and a new road is made. The difference is that roads never learn. I've learned lots. I think that this breakup will be an oportunity for me to realize why i fell in love with Amy. Although i may never get her back earn her trust again, I would be thrilled to be able to try.

I understand that there is no guarantee that she and I are going to get back together. She is now completely free to date/kiss/grope/fuck/marry/whatever anyone she chooses. I hope that the next guy is not as much of an asshole as me. He better treat her right. He better learn/earn her. Oh, I also really hope that i'm the next guy. Shit. It looks like i have a lot of fix. :\

Best of luck Amy.

In case you're wondering, I did not get any phone sex.

I'm a moo goo guy

This last weekend was a mixed bag. Amy (this is a psudeonym) was out of town on Saturday, so I got a couple of friends together. We just drove around and talked. It was good. I haven't been able to really talk and get unique viewpoints for a while. We ate Chinese food and laughed at misspelled chopstlck wrappers.

On Sunday me and Amy went to a concert. The music was rockin'. It was oldies, but goodies. :) Amy and I sometimes disagree about the best way to interact with the opposite sex. This reminds me of Chemistry by Semisonic.

"So when I find myself alone and unworthy
I think about all of the things I learned from the
Fine fine women with nothing but good intentions and a
Bad tendency to get burned"

"All about chemistry
Won't you show me everything you've learned
I'll memorize everything you do to me so I can
Teach it when it comes my turn "

Honestly, how can I say that i'm a good lover (which i am) with out getting some sort of sample from the general population? Why must this conflict so much with [tone sound="sarcastic"] commitment and love [/tone]? Isn't there sex without emotion?

Oh well. I suppose that Amy has a point about sex being more than just feeling good. Although, it really does feel very good. Amy's a good lay, that's not in question. What's in question is whether or not i'm giving her the best lay that i can. How can i know that i am? Doesn't she deserve the best sex that i can give her?

What i do know is that Amy turns me on more than any other girl around. I get random/ill-timed erections when i'm with her. This never happens with other girls. With Amy, we could be talking about getting her tires rotated and i get all hot and bothered. That's just how sexy she is. [sigh][/sigh] Oh, there goes the erection-thing i was just mentioning. I'll have to call her for some phone sex soon. ;)

[update] I don't like moo goo. I'm all about the General's Chicken.[/update]

Don't ever

• Do not ask me my name.
  
• Do not ask me where I live.
  
• Only think of me as exactly what you read.

• Do not assume that there is more to my life.
  
• Do not fill in the blanks.
  
• Only read this if you agree with me.

• Do not judge me.
  
• Do not lie to me.
  
• Only be honest with me.

• Do not complain about how often I post.
  
• Do not fight me.
  
• Only ask meaningful questions.

Above all, don't ask me why. I'm never sure. How can I tell you what I don't know?